oh My Dear Yaya

Dear Yaya, 

I am so sorry for not being with you when you were diagnosed with Lymphoma Skin Cancer a year ago. I am so sorry for not hugging you when you were told about the cruel fact that you have to start a war with your sickness, with your pain, with your roller coaster like emotion, with all the uncomfort & crap condition. I am teribly sorry for whatever I can't do. I am so sorry for my fucking behavior. I am so sorry for everything, Yaya.

I love you. I love you so much. I am so sorry for not telling I love you more than i should. I am so sorry when I saw you in pain, vommiting everything, weak everytime after you chemo but I'm not saying anything. I remember back then when you shaved your head before you started all the chemo. However, you still you. The same Yaya, my beloved sister. Even now you can't walk properly after the tumour was removed from your leg, you still my Yaya, my beautiful Yaya.   

Oh My Dear Yaya,

Live is short. No one knows when is the end. No matter what happen to us is a blessings from Allah. This is His Love. This is His Mercy. Allah loves you, love us and that is the most important. You are strong. We are strong. A year had been passed. We face that together and we can pass many years to come, insyaAllah. All this shit will pass. This heartache will be healed. All this pain will be gone. For now, let face this together. Let fight this. 

From the bottom of your Eldest's heart, I Love You.