Not So Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Damn not happy at all. 😩

First day of 2025 was started so bad for me. I saw an accident today. Already happened. I saw a boy lay on the middle of the road, a heavy hand movement. Aku cannot see the face since his face covered with helmet. Someone put the helmet sebelah dia punya head. Even when I drove my car sebelah dia pun still tak nampak his face. Penumpang sebelah aku nampaklah his face. Aku nampak his kaki with seluar dah koyak only. No blood to be seen ya, at all. So I just istighfar and prayed Allah to ease everything for him and everyone. I continued drove my car pergi kerja.

Then, after lunch I dapat whatsapp from my bestfriend, said that my other best friend's brother had passed away because of accident. Long story short, rupanya yang accident tadi, the boy yang aku nampak terbaring lemah atas jalan tadi adalah adik my bestfriend. The family tak tahu pun yang adik dia accident. Diorang dapat call tengahari yang mengatakan yang adik dia dah kritikal then passed away. The accident happened pagi tu maybe around 8.00am to 8.30am. Diorang contact the family dah tengahari???? seriously???

What have I done???!!!!!! I kept questioning myself. Kenapa aku tak tengok that boy? I should tengok then I can call and tell my bestfriend so that the family will know early. At least the family can prepare early. But can we prepare early for this kind of new? But at least the family can see him early. At least the family know. Again, what have I done???!! 

Aku nampak tadi what happened to the family members. The mother passed out. The other siblings cried so hard. The nieces kept calling for their uncle yang dah pergi tinggalkan diorang. My bestfriend cried on my shoulder. And apa yang ada dalam kepala aku, what have I done? will they forgive me because aku tak nampak adik diorang pagi tadi? Aku tak tengok sebab aku ingat itu accident ringan sebab aku tak nampak any darah, or any other vehicle. The face pun terlindung dengan helmet. Aku memang tak dapat nampak pun muka dia. Aku memang tak pernah berhenti if ada accident, sebab dah ramai orang tolong and aku tak nak menyebabkan traffiq jammed dan menyusahkan kenderaan lain. But this happened!!!! what should I do?????!!!!! 

Semua orang cakap, bukan salah aku. Ini takdir Allah. Ini jalan cerita Dia. Siapa kita nak lawan takdir Dia. Perkara ni jadi atas izin Dia. Tapi kenapa aku rasa bersalah? aku rasa ralat dan terkilan sangat sangat. Dan perkataan "kalau" tu kept memenuhi kepala aku. Will they forgive me kalau aku cerita all this to them even though mereka cakap mereka dah redha?? Diorang just pasrah. If they know, I'm sure diorang takkan maafkan aku. Will they?? 

"I am sorry for not see" - Bai -